THE IMPORTANCE OF ONE OF ONE TIME – OUR BIG, FRIENDLY, GIANT DATE DAY!

Following on from my previous post about that dreaded #mumguilt that seems to like to creep in on us mums on a daily basis I thought I would write about one of the things I do to overcome the guilt from one of the points I made in my previous post. You can read my mum guilt post here if you haven’t already.

Anyway, although I find that the younger sibling makes lots of sacrifices to fit into life with an older brother (poor Arden gets woken up from naps for school pick ups, eats lunch on the run and is often out late for rugby trainings when all he wants is to go home and have his ‘bopple’) I always feel bad for the older sibling who may get a sense of feeling left out!

I find myself talking all high pitched and excited with the younger child, then nagging the older one to hurry up and finish what he’s doing, do his homework, tidy his room, eat his dinner etc etc etc as he is old enough to do it all himself. At the end of the day when I look back and think about our day and what we did I always feel bad as it must come across to a 7 year old that I am being nice to the little brother and being mean to him. Of course I am not, It’s just that I don’t need to talk in a ‘baby voice’ to Kylan anymore but I understand that in his eyes, and from his point of view he may feel slightly neglected and feel that I love the little one more than him as I talk to him differently.

Knowing this, I always make a point to have special “date days” with Kylan. These dates can be as simple as me picking him up from school without the little one in tow and taking him for a hot chocolate or even to the mall to run some errands. As long as it’s just him and I with no little brother stealing the show it’s always a success. He opens up and talks to me about his life, what is going on at school, how he is feeling and he gets my undivided attention.

I can always tell when he is feeling a little left out, I notice minor changes in his behavior and attitude signaling that a date day is needed.

Whilst I aim to do these little dates weekly I try and also make a big deal every now and then and have a whole date day where we go and do something extra special. He always LOVES to go to the movies, this is always a super special treat for him so these are usually our special date days.

We recently got invited to go to the screening of The BFG, so we made it a special “date day” with Kylan, myself and Ryan.

His best friend was also invited to the screening so he got to enjoy some one on one time with myself and his dad as well as enjoying the movie with his best friend by his side. He was treated to popcorn and ice cream while he enjoyed the movie giggling away with his bestie by his side. Heaven for a 7 year old!

It was the perfect one on one activity to show him a little bit of extra attention. He didn’t have to share our attention with anyone else. After the movie we talked, we laughed, we joked around, we had lunch (food is always a win with a growing boy) and we had a great day together!!

I highly recommend heading to the movies these holidays and checking out The BFG with your little ones and having some special one on one time with them. It was such a magical movie, it will leave them running around the garden with their fishing nets catching dreams for the rest of the holidays in a world of imaginary play! Check out the trailer here